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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225251">Adrift Without an Anchor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookstorequeer/pseuds/bookstorequeer'>bookstorequeer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet Ending, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt, Episode Related, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Training (Star Wars), Gen, Good Parent Din Djarin, Hurt No Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Post-Episode: s02e08 The Rescue, Spoilers, The Mandalorian (TV) Season 2, The Mandalorian (TV) Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:36:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookstorequeer/pseuds/bookstorequeer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a clan of two, with the other half gone. Lost to the space between the stars.</p><p>Takes place immediately after <b>Chapter 16: The Rescue</b>. Our Mandalorian is <i>hurting</i>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Adrift Without an Anchor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please note this story does contain references to what could be taken as suicidal thoughts. (If you feel it needs further tagging, please let me know.)</p><p>Spoilers for <b>The Mandalorian</b>. Specifically <b>Chapter 16: The Rescue</b>. It takes place immediately afterwards.</p><p>And also, I would consider this a bittersweet ending. This is not a fix-it sort of fic. This is more of a "everything sucks and life hurts" sort of thing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The doors slid shut and his knees hit the floor with the hollow thunk of his heart. He had given up everything for this child. His home, his creed, his <i>face</i>. And still he was alone.</p><p>He was a clan of two, with the other half gone. Lost to the space between the stars.</p><p>Grogu would always have outlived him. Through biology and the danger of being a bounty hunter. But it was more difficult, somehow, to reconcile letting his foundling walk away.</p><p>He had fought with his every breath, his beskar, and his strength to return to the space between his child and the world. He had fought dark troopers and his own upbringing to rescue Grogu from those who would hurt him. And they had succeeded.</p><p>But a heartbeat later, before he could grow used to the weight of the foundling in his arms again, he had succeeded in his quest. The quest to return the child to his kind.</p><p>And now he was alone.</p><p>His body ached where he had battled. His chest ached where his soul bled.</p><p>There were no words in his mind; he followed on silent feet as they turned the ship towards Nevarro, to return Cara Dune to her life. He walked behind her because all he could do was follow.</p><p>Greef Karga asked questions but he had no answers. Cara pushed food to him but he had no stomach for it. He slept when the dreams let him, stared at the stars and wondered where his child might be when no rest would have him.</p><p>He awoke to himself a month later, and asked credit to buy a ship. It smelled of musk and dirt but there were no little green shadows in the corners, reminding him of coos and demands to be held. He spent a week cleaning it out, Cara watching from doorways when she could.</p><p>He asked Karga for all the pucks available, when Cara wasn't looking. He lifted off from Nevarro when she was. Her goodbye message pinged the comms but he didn't have to listen to know she was telling him he could always come back.</p><p>He would be back. He would bring the bounty, pay off his debts, and someday, when he was tired, a bounty would get the better of him. Sometimes, when he woke with the child's name on his tongue, he wondered if he would really mind the day he was a second too slow, a fraction off with his gauntlets.</p><p>The child was always going to outlive him. What did it matter if Grogu never knew when?</p><p> </p><p>He lived like that for over a year. Waking each day, wondering if the child had slept, had dreamt of him. Working, maybe not dodging all of the blaster fire he should have. Going to sleep wishing pleasant dreams to that smile he hadn't seen in 186, 357, 790,000 days.</p><p>Until one day, between a cup of caf and jumping to hyperspace after his next bounty, he missed a rung on the ladder to the cockpit. He'd made this climb sleep-deprived and bleeding, and had never missed a step.</p><p>He stopped and just <i>breathed</i>.</p><p>Across the cargo bay, where there was strung up a new, size-small hammock that no one was allowed to touch, something fell to the floor. It bounced against his foot and he stared down at the control knob from the <i>Razor Crest</i>.
  
</p><p>
 
 "Grogu," he whispered, fingers clenching around the ball.
</p><p>
 
    He pressed his knuckles <i>hard</i> against the beskar over his mouth and tried to will away his tears.
</p><p>
 "I miss you, kid."</p><p>
 He regretted the words that slipped passed a tired, lonely tongue. As he climbed to the cockpit, fingers still wrapped around the steel, he was nearly convinced that he had heard the echo of a coo, as if for an instant, there was no galaxy between them.
</p><p>
 "Be happy, Grogu," he said. And with a year alone, he was finally able to mean it.
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this after watching the episode because I had a lot of feelings about it. I still do...</p><p>I also found this amazing artwork after writing <i>Adrift</i> that ties in so perfectly: <a href="https://wily-art.tumblr.com/post/638064699029831680/keldabe">Kebalde by Wily-Art on tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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